Get a Detox - chapter 3

Today is D-Day. By that I mean Detox-Day, or Detox-Week in my case.  Over the next seven days I am banned from consuming foodstuffs which I cannot quite contemplate life without - there will be no chocolate, no coffee, no wine (yikes), no black tea, no white sugar.  I am not allowed anything cooked in oil, no meat, no wheat and no processed foods.  My fridge is going to look kind of bare.  I am one hour and fifty-five minutes into day 1 of the two-day liquid only fast and I am hungry already.  In filling the bird seed and peanut holders this morning, I had to restrain myself from taking a nibble.  It's going to be a long week.

What I AM allowed to consume over the first couple of days is filtered or mineral water -at least eight glasses with a twist of lemon (yee ha!), herbal tea and diluted unsweetened fruit juice.  For the following five days I have the delights of brown rice, vegetables and fruit.  And the veg is recommended to be of the cruciferous persuasion, that is brocolli; cabbage; kale and sprouts.  Everything that nature designed to increase the probability of inadvertently embarrasing you in company, if you know what I mean.  But don't knock it until you have tried it is my motto and having stood on the scales this morning, weighing in at a depressing 68.3kg (that's ten stone to you traditional types) I am happy to give this a try. The PR blurb guarantees "significant weight loss, or your money back, folks".  Scientific evidence suggests detoxing makes absolutely no difference.  Bring on the combat, that's what I say.  It also tells me that there may be side-effects including nausea.  I must admit that I am feeling sick already. But that's more about the fact I won't have wine for a week.  The upside is that I get to top and tail the detox with dinner at Ten Pound Tuesday at East Restaurant in Peterborough. By the way, it's NEVER Ten Pound Tuesday at East. Always seventeen pound Tuesday like last night or sixteen pound fifty Tuesday like the week before. But, let's not get picky, its a great restaurant with great food, and Tuesday evening is nearly always buzzing.  So, this is what is getting me through the next seven days - the prospect of a vastly expanded wardrobe and the prospect of a bottle of Tinpot.  Methinks I have not quite entered into the spirit of the detox yet.

The other side-effects mentioned also include fatique and difficulty concentrating but that just sounds like a normal day at the office.

So, where am at with this detox lark?  I am two cups in of Japanese Green Tea and one glass of water.  I have stood on the bathroom scales and depressed myself.  I have hidden the chocolate stash and the red wine.  And I am already feeling cratchety.  As I said earlier, its going to be a very, very, long seven days.

More on my detox adventure, later.